2014

What's new?

 Well lot's has happened in 2014 and this post will sum it up...

In January we decided to try again for a baby. After my miscarriage I was a little skeptical that it would happen so quickly but we got pregnant the end of that month so baby #5 is due in the fall.

In March our renter in Laveen decided to move out 3 months early, so Ty and I decided that I would move back and he'd stay with a couple in Ehrenberg for 3 months (since he was told he'd only be at the location for work there for 1 year). Plus a really sweet couple let him live in their spare room for free (bonus).

In May we found out we're being blessed with a boy (after 4 girls). I also started schooling my girls at home for the 2014 school year so their a little ahead so we can take extra breaks during the holidays.

In June Tyler lost his job the same day I got a job (thank goodness). He's back home but it was the longest 3 weeks of your marriage with no pay check... we made it trough and he's back with Arby's making he same about as when he quit 2 years ago.

In August I had to stop working early due to my pregnancy issues but good news is my boss is letting me come back after the baby no problem. 

September is my baby shower (If you want to come but didn't get a facebook invite please let me know). It's also Tyler's 30th birthday and I'm trying to plan a fun trip for him (even though I'll be 9 months pregnant). 

October I will more than likely be having this baby.

That is all for now :)

A bundle of joy and lots of blue, a little boy is joining the Cook crew

After 4 beautiful girl's we're being blessed with a boy! 

Tyler Jackson coming fall 2014

who is that girl you see?

I know most will not read this whole thing but this is my personal page and my thoughts... Please no comments, thank you.

Forgive the way this is worded but I’m not an educated girl.

I actually don't know who I am... I mean I know people don't like me and nobody will tell me what’s wrong with me. I know people tolerate me but I don’t know why I’m not liked.

I have over 700 friends on facebook, these are people I know... either from school, church, and of course family but I have met every single one. Who are these people I call friends? Are they really my friends or do they just want to have a lot of "friends" on their pages? I guess who really knows.

Who am I?

I'm that girl, you know the one you see who sits alone in church, who goes to a birthday party with her 2 year old and sits in the corner while 10 other mom's talk, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company. I'm that girl who gets asked "how are you"? Then realizes they don't really care how you are. They may be asking but it's a fake question I get caught in week after week. I'm the girl who always says the wrong thing; the girl who wants to be friends with everyone but knows they don’t want you involved in their circle of friends. I’m the girl who gets upset when families that moved in after you get talks... I must be that girl who isn't good enough to give a talk, I’m the girl who gets jealous when she see’s someone new to a ward get a calling but her husband has been waiting months to get one. I’m the girl who doesn't ever feel good enough to be LDS.  I’m the girl who hasn't been a member her whole life, who has the tattoos, scars, and tears from her past, the girl who’s been divorced and has kids with different dads, the girl who will never fit in, who will never be good enough, the girl who will always be judged. Oh yes I know people talk about all these things mentioned. I’m the girl, who’s in the middle of a conversation with you then somehow when someone else walks up becomes the third wheel, and as I slowly walk away with tear filled eyes and another reason to doubt herself… I remember this is why I sit alone at church. I’m the girl who tries so hard to be friends with others but am quickly reminded that I will never fit in.

I’m the girl who has a label on her back from her family because she has a father who beat her mother and tried to kill her before she was born, a mother who looks at her and see’s the man who abused her in her daughters eyes, siblings that have a bond you’ll never get, a dad that gave up everything for you at seventeen only to give you nothing after his passing because you’re not truly his daughter. Grandparents who turned the other way because you’re not biologically theirs.

I’m the girl who has been cheated on by every man who claimed he loved her, who has been abused in every way imaginable, a girl who may not be highly educated but managed to get some kind of diploma within her 30 years, who doesn't want to show her kids her pain, who knows what poverty really is, and a girl you’re never going to really know because you don’t want to know her. Yes I’m that girl! 

I'm the girl that would drop everything in a heartbeat to help someone else, the girl who tries to make others happy, who want's to help anyone and everyone, the girl who doesn't mind watching your kids so you can have a morning to yourself or have them stay the night while you have a baby, I'm the girl who tries to solve problems, who listens when you've lost a loved one, who allows herself to think shes your friend but realizes... she is just someone You know.

Photography

Who said owning a business was easy must not make any money!

I have started a photography business...

I'm super scared going into this but I hope I can be as good as a few of my talented friends.

follow me here

http://photographybyjessicacook.blogspot.com/

I have only had 2 photo shoots but have 2 more next week.

New website 

WWW.JESSICACOOKPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

Christmas 2013 part 2

My last post was just our Christmas pictures but this is our Christmas story...

Some how (good blessings) Ty ended up getting 5 day off during the week of Christmas. Monday-Friday, so Sunday after work we drove to Casa Grande (my bio dad's side) which was 3 1/2 hours drive and enjoyed a FEAST of food, I was able to see my aunt whom has lived in Germany for 8 years or so, and another aunt I have only seen once in 10 years.

That night we drove another hour and a half to Tyler's dad house where there were no heater! OMGosh we were shivering... Ty ended up getting a gas propane heater for the next night but it was still cold. 

Christmas eve we went to his sister for dinner and the siblings did a gift exchange (why the spouses aren't included is dumb to me). Tyler didn't receive a gift because his brother who was supposed to buy for him had been in and out of drug rehab the last 3 months (we don't care about the gift and we understood he couldn't buy anything). His uncle however did give us $60.00 (same as all the siblings). So then we went to the temple for lights. they have a beautiful new statue that was breath taking. Afterward we ended up going to his dads to get the kids in bed and get "ready" for Santa. 

While we were putting together Emma's little car and stuffing stockings his brother asks us what we do with the money we get from their uncle and birthday's... stuff like that. I told him we put it away and let them spend it when we go on trips to theme parks or just save it for them (remember this).

Christmas day we woke up around 8 (that's our rule for the kids on Christmas and weekends). The kids opened gifts and played for a little bit while I packed up everything and Ty loaded the car. We then headed to my parents house in Phoenix since I was in charge of dinner but not before grabbing some Jack in the Box for lunch where when I went to get my $20 I had in my wallet from returning a gift was gone... wait! So was the $60 from his uncle! Are you kidding me??? 

I just leave it at that!

oh wait... Everything at my moms was great! Amazing little get together, dinner, and good night sleep!

Christmas 2013

1st things 1st... Happy Birthday Jesus!

This year we're living in California during the holidays and have no family near. Sooooooooo I packed up the kids and I got to Phoenix where we stayed with Ty's dad (that's another story). We are so blessed to be able to spend the holidays with loved ones.

30... 30... 30...

I can't believe I'm 30!  For my 30th I had an amazing party thrown for me... 80's style!

I hope my friends (whom have been 30) stop calling me a baby lol

love you ladies!

I want it back

I wake up empty today as I have lost a child. A child in which I wanted and loved with all my heart.

"I will never get to meet you, or see u on a scan,
I will never stroke your little cheek or kiss your little feet"

I miss being pregnant, I want to feel a child moving in my belly, I know I will see my baby one day but one day feels like too long. 

I love that my family is eternal and I love that my baby is being taken care of by loved ones

I still wish this didn't have to happen, I wish I didn't feel pain of heartache

(9 weeks)

Kloee's 7th birthday

Kloee's 7th birthday was a hit but she's more excited to be a year closer to owning her own scriptures.

3 years on the 4th

3 years and counting Ty and I have been together as of July 4th! 

We went to west gate and watched the fire works over the Cardinal's stadium.

It was perfect, because we were able to park semi close, didn't have to hear the loud bangs, and we drove out when it was over quickly and without traffic.

 GREAT FAMILY FUN!!!

I love our family

all the kids

far away but quiet and cry free... just the way I like it

1st dip

Our 1st dip in our new pool, in our new house, in our new city, and our new state!

 the kids are loving it here

I was a lobster after but turned into a great tan

MOVING!

Let me start by saying Tyler got a promotion! YAY!!! 

He has the GM title and we're MOVING to California. 

Now let me say how happy I am for this opportunity and my husbands accomplishments but how unhappy I am about his hours, the area we'll be living (expensive) and the house we found... yes house! Only 1 in this tiny city California calls Blythe and I seriously doubt we'll get it cause it's the only 1!

I did go over there this last weekend and visited the church we'll be attending... seriously AWESOME ladies I have already begun to get to know. There's 1 specifically helping me find housing and has been texting me pictures of trailers we could possibly stay untill something bigger/better comes available. Again I have to say how much I love my church! I really love so much about it and know Ill find more to love.

I'm super duper stressed right now though because I have to finish teaching preschool through May 7th and the girls finish school May 22nd so I have to work, homework/school routine  pack my whole house (2,500 sq feet), clean my whole house, try to paint certain crayon art walls, and fix our sprinklers! I know there's more but just thinking of those things is freaking me out!

We already found a renter for our house and he's moving in June 1st (a week after were moving to Blythe) and I don't know if I can have everything ready or done by then!

I did get a call while writing this that there is a 3 bedroom for under 1000 for rent and we can start moving in May 1st... I'm hoping this will be right for us. please pray for our family to have the strength to be pleasant to each other and to come out ahead!

great to be Mormon

These are my great grandparents! I never knew they were members of the same church as me till a month after I was baptized! My grandfather, there son pasted away in 1972 and he started the genealogy for our family... I'm trying to do work in the temple he left. I feel like things fell into place for me to be able to do this for my family. 

I just wish I could have been baptized sooner and dated my husband when we were still in HS but all things happen for a reason and I guess 3 kids and a divorce later we we're supposed to be.

Jade

This is Jade our pup who got really sick while at a family members house for a couple months.

She got bit by a tick and it gave her tick fever which never got treated... this ended up giving her an infection and nobody knew to get her treatment. With her immune system being compromised she ended up getting a disease called MMM (masticatory muscle myositis).Her mussels slow deteriorated and she couldn't eat or hardly move because the pain she was in. Sadly we decided to put her down and I don't think I'll ever get over this heartache or the thought of what if I could have done more or if I could have done something differently. My poor husband had her since she was a tiny little thing so I could only imagine what he was going through. 

happy to be me

I haven't posted in a very long time... That being said I'm going to try and get some posts up of what's been going on this past year in the Cook's lives. 

Here is today

Happy me! 

I honestly am the happiest I have EVER been in my life! 

 I feel like I have the best most amazing husband and children ever!

Christmas pictures

Merry Christmas from the Cook's

preschool

Recently I decided to open my own preschool. This decision came after my 3 year old didn't get in and the wait list was a mile long. I have taught at preschools for many years and it's so much fun and the fact that I can work from home and still have my children with me makes it an even better plan.

I only have 3 children enrolled being I didn't even begin the process till the end of July, but I'm pretty happy with that and call them my lil guinea pigs. We have tons of activity's and crafts we do.  It's really a  great learning experience for them and I.


I already have parents lined up for next year and am looking forward to a full class. I'm so blessed to have this amazing life. My husband has been very supportive and patient during this transformation.

lately...

So I was pretty depressed the last few months and actually have been doing pretty good now. I'm keeping busy with the preschool, 4 kids, a calling I thought I didn't like but as it turns out I'm pretty good at it and am now enjoying getting to know so many sisters in my ward, I have a few ladies I get along with and am slowly letting my guard down about letting them in as a friend, Iv'e been pretty involved with my RS president and we do things together outside of church and I feel the friendship building (something I never saw coming).

Don't worry you friends whom moved away... nobody can replace you!!!

Alyssa ~ I miss visiting teaching, park days, and your amazing way of teaching (specially my kids)

Katie ~ I miss park days, talks in the school parking lot and you raiding my pantry on Sundays

Laura ~ I miss calling you when I need to vent or gossip about the hubby, I miss craft days, and I miss your advice (specially about the church)

Mandy ~ I miss the playmates, yummy cupcakes on my birthday, and your amazing spirit

Marilyn ~ I miss laughing till my cheeks hurt at book club, I miss the girls, and I miss your advice

Marinda ~ I miss your carefree but organized personality, your fun energetic spirit, and our really really long conversations 

 Megan ~ I miss our card club conversations (your cards), your jello popcorn, and your craft ideas/quilting

as the world turn

I turned 29 this year! Most of my friends who read this are older than me and say I'm just a baby, 

but I have lived life in a crazy, fun, emotional, and even critical way, and I know that the future 

whatever it may bring will be full of love, hope, and the spirit.